I HAD NO IDEA MY CHILD WAS IN PAIN….

 

Dear Mom
Dear Dad
I need to tell you
I’m feeling sad
You need to listen
For I need to speak
Things suck at school
My outlook on life has turned bleak
I’m being bullied, picked on, teased
No matter what I try, my enemies are never pleased
I need your help, I need the bullying to end
I tried to handle it, but, by myself, I can no longer defend
The hatred, the lies, the rumors, the pain
At school or at home, I feel it will always remain
I need your strength, your guidance, your support and your love
I do not need more judgement, anger, disappointments or shoves
I’ll say it again,
What I need right now from you, my parents, is your strength, 
your guidance, your support and your love.
Please be my parents
Don’t be my friends
Help me, please help me
Bring this bullying to an end
I love you.
I HAD NO IDEA…
Time and again the phrase, “I had no idea”, is uttered by parents of children who commit Bullycide.
They had no idea their child was being bullied. They had no idea their child was in so much pain. They had no idea their child was contemplating committing suicide. They had no idea…They had no idea…Sadly, they had no idea.
Because our society has become so busy and quite frankly, self-serving, it is easy to overlook those silent cries for help often uttered by our own hurting children.
The world of today moves at a rapid pace. The phrase, “Johnny on the spot. Go! Go! Go!”, often comes to mind. Our society is constantly on the go whether it’s going to work, going to school, participating in after school activities or going out to some event. There is no more rest for the weary and we no longer have time to smell the roses, let alone water them.
We are so busy, in fact, we don’t even have time to sit down as a family and discuss what is going on in each other’s lives while enjoying a home cooked meal. Let me just say, listening to your kid smack his/her lips on a Happy Meal and ramble on about a game score while sitting in the backseat as you drive him/her over to the next event does not make for a real in depth conversation nor does it help you recognize a potential problem in your child’s life, such as bullying.
I can remember as a kid, growing up, my parents, sister and I would sit down at the dinner table and talk about our day. My parents always took the time to talk to us no matter what was going on in their lives. I can remember approaching my dad in his workshop and he would stop what he was doing, pull out a stool and say, “Have a seat kid. Tell me what’s going on.”
My parents were never nosey. They were parents. Parents who were in tune enough with their kids to know right away when something was wrong, even if they had to sometimes drag it out of us.
Because my parents laid out a foundation of communication when we were young, it helped my sister and I feel comfortable enough to come and talk to either one of them about anything, especially when we entered those tough teen years. It especially enabled me to reach out to them when I was being bullied and I felt suicidal and overwhelmed.
A lot of parents make the mistake of trying to become their child’s friend, rather than be an actual parent. I’m not saying that you cannot or should not be friends with your child. I think you should, once your child becomes an adult.
Children need guidance, boundaries, love and protection. They need these things from their parents. Their parents! Not their friend(s) acting as if they are their parent(s). They also need to spend time with their parents. Real time in order to form a bond of trust…thus leaving the door open to come and talk about anything that may be wrong in their lives.
I know it is natural for teens to rebel against their parents, but I also know teens are capable of coming to their parents, if they know their parents will be there with a hand stretched forth to help lift them up when they are down.
As a parent, please keep in mind that bullying can make a child feel very helpless, isolated, alone and like no one cares or understands what they are feeling or going through. Often times a child will keep the bullying he/she is enduring to themselves out of fear of appearing weak, fear of retaliation from the kid who bullied them, fear of rejection by their peers, fear their parents or other adults may judge them or punish them for being weak.
Take the time to talk to your kid(s). Take the time to really get to know your kid(s). Be a parent, not a friend.
Signs a Child is Being Bullied
Unexplainable injuries
Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics or jewelry
Feeling sick or taking illness
Changes in habit…skipping meals or binge eating
Frequent nightmares or difficulty sleeping
Not wanting to go to school, declining grades or
loss of interest in schoolwork
Avoiding social activities or sudden loss of friends
Decreased self esteem or feelings of helplessness
Self-destructive behavior like running away from home,
harming themselves or talking about suicide
 
Signs a Child is Bullying Others
Getting into physical or verbal fights
Have friends who bully others
Shows signs of increasingly aggressive behavior
Is sent to detention or the principal’s office frequently
New belongings or money that can’t be explained
Blames others for their problems
Refuses to accept responsibility for their actions
Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity.
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BULLYCIDE: TO WHOM IT CONCERNS AUTHOR’S RADIO INTERVIEW

From a wonderful Author… Bullycide: To Whom It Concerns. We all need to hear this!!!! http://www.blogtalkradio.com/pennyjean/2013/04/23/the-bully-effect

“The Bully Effect”

 

PUT THE RIGHT FOOT FORWARD EACH DAY BLOG

Right foot. Not Left
I’ve made my choice
Hateful words matter not
Having been deafened by my strong voice

Every morning when we wake up, we have a choice. We can get out of bed in a good mood or we can get out of bed in a bad mood. The circumstances matter not. It’s a decision.

Same holds true when it comes to what we believe. We can choose to believe positive stuff about ourselves such as; Amazing, Creative, Happy, Beautiful, Strong, and Loving. Or, we can choose to believe the negative stuff bullies say to us such as; Loser, Dumb, Ugly, Dork, and Slut.

No matter what a bully may say, you have the power to decide whether or not to believe the words THEY think of you. Those words are NOT what you should think of yourself. EVER! Again…those are THEIR THOUGHTS, THEIR WORDS. They do not have to become your thoughts or your words, unless YOU decide to let them.

Make the decision today that from now on you are believing only good things about yourself. In other words, you are going to tune out any negative talk coming out of the mouth of a bully. What they say is of no value…it’s not important.

Think about it. Who put a bully in charge of deciding who is cool, who is not, who is a slut, who is a good girl, who is smart, who is dumb, who is gay, who is straight..etc. See how silly and pathetic a bully is? He or she is like Godzilla on a power trip. And we all know Godzilla is a made up character. You can write your own script and defeat him.

What you think of yourself is important and does have value. Who gives a hoot what a bully thinks of you. You have value and don‘t ever let anyone tell you otherwise…because if they do, know they are lying. You are important and you do have value.

Again, you have the power and control over your life. You can make it good or you can make it bad. A bully does not have that type of power over you unless you give it to them. You have to decide…right here…right now to take the control and the power back.

“Am I going to give the bully one more day of control over my life and make it miserable and make me feel bad about myself?”
The answer, “NO! I am no longer going to believe a bully’s opinion of me. For a bully is nothing more than an insecure person trying to appear powerful. I will be a victim no more.”

You choose which foot to put forward first. I’m believing that you are strong and will make the RIGHT choice.

Never Let A Bully Win. Fight Back. Live.

Hugs,
Bullycide: To Whom It Concerns

PUT THE RIGHT FOOT FORWARD EACH DAY #SHOE POST

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Never Let A Bully Win. Fight Back. Live.

Show YOU are in control by “Putting the RIGHT Foot Forward”

Take a pair of sneakers and decorate and write all of the good, positive stuff about yourself and your positive feelings on the RIGHT shoe.

Then, write the negative stuff a bully says on the left shoe and take a picture of the shoes and post them on this Blog.

Decide each day, which foot you are going to lead with….the RIGHT shoe which has all of the good positive stuff or the left shoe which has all of the negative stuff the bully says.

It’s your choice which words YOU choose to believe about yourself.
Make the RIGHT choice.

Hugs-

Bullycide: To Whom It Concerns

Visit our Facebook Page, www.facebook.com/bullycidetowhomitconcerns for further details under, PUT THE RIGHT FOOT FORWARD EACH DAY #SHOE POST

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Blog Spotlight: Temple Terrace Author Pens Anti-Bullying Book

By D’Ann White

Temple Terrace Patch’s newest blogger, Normandy Piccolo, is the author of “Bullycide: To Whom It Concerns,” a book that explores the pain caused by bullying.

Whether it’s through poetry, novels, short stories, songs or television and radio scripts, Normany Piccolo hopes to use her gift with words to change the world.

The Temple Terrace resident has penned radio scripts for the “Ciick It or Ticket” national seat belt campaign and “Operation Lifesaver,” featuring country music legend Charlie Daniels.

Most recently, the former magazine model has turned her attention to the national bullying epidemic in her book, Bullycide: To Whom It Concerns, where she explores the social and psychological ramifications of bullying.

The book, available at Amazon.com, is a collection of writings and drawings expressing the painful fallout that comes from being bullied: suicide.

“Unlike other books which gingerly tackle the topic, Bullycide: To Whom It Concerns, handles the issue like an onion, peeling back each hurtful layer and through countless tears, exposes the long-term damage done to a person at the hands of a bully,” said Piccolo. She also takes advantage of social media (Twitter, Facebook and Blogger) to spread her anti-bullying message.

Kids are most often driven to committing suicide/bullycide because of pain. They don’t know what to do and their parents cannot begin to grasp the depth of distress which is driving their child down the path of committing suicide/bullycide,” said Piccolo.

“The pain expressed in this book is most certainly palpable, almost too much to bear at times,” said Piccolo. “Some of the feelings noted are so graphic, so detailed it’s beyond riveting. Bullycide: To Whom It Concerns literally takes you down into the depths of sorrow in order to help build you up in the hopes of choosing life and not death because of a bully.”

 

http://templeterrace.patch.com/articles/blog-spotlight-temple-terrace-author-anti-bullying-book

SOCIAL BULLYING…..WOULD YOU MISS ME?

 

 

Would you miss me if I went away 

Would you pause for a moment

Beg me not to die, not to decay 

Is there someone, anyone willing to say, 

“Please…… Stay.”

 

Why are people appreciated and adored more in death, than in life? T-Shirts plastered with photographs. Faces stained with tears. The sharing of memories. The heartfelt words rolling off of the tongues. Question…Where was the love, care and emotion when the person was alive? Amazing how we take people for granted…especially those who are the intentional victims of Social Bullying.

 

Bullying is not always done in an obvious way, such as punching or calling out mean names. Sometimes people are bullied with silence. They are ignored, intentionally left out of events, taken for granted and are acknowledged only when someone needs something – otherwise they are made to feel of no use to anyone.

 

The socially bullied victims are the ones who are overlooked and forgotten…until they are gone. Then and only then do these sweet souls seem to be accepted and loved. Hated, ignored, mistreated while breathing, yet loved, cherished, and memorialized while lying dead on a cold slab. How wrong is that? Very wrong.

 

Social Bullying is a type of bullying where a person is deliberately left out on purpose, ignored and unfriended by their peers. They endure vicious rumors spread about them by others and sometimes get humiliated in public. Being rejected is one of the harshest forms of punishment one human being can do to another. The emotional wounds cut very deep and take years to heal.

 

Victims of Social Bullying often suffer in silence. Sometimes a victim is so clever, so good at masking the pain of rejection, even Sherlock Holmes, Inspector Gadget and Dick Tracy combined couldn’t get a clue if they tried. It is only after the person is gone do the puzzle pieces begin to fall into place. The subtle hints once dropped now light up brighter than an atom bomb. But it’s too late. They are dead. Gone. Never coming back.

 

Instead of being asked, “Hey would you like to hang out sometime” by just one person…this lonely, cast out soul hangs alone in their room, their body swaying silently side to side, the question, “Why didn’t anybody like me?”, continuing to echo inside their head until the last breath escapes their body. Alone in life. Now alone in death. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

 

To Social Bullied Victims….Peer rejection is NEVER EVER a reason to harm yourself in any way, shape or form. It is never a reason to commit Bullycide. Haters are always going to hate someone or something. They are impossible to please. Impossible to befriend. Don’t waste YOUR time caring or worrying or trying to prove yourself worthy of THEIR time and attention. Recognize that it is not your fault if they fail to see all of the wonderful things you are and all of the wonderful things you have to offer. The world is full of good people. Stand strong for you. Love yourself, even if right now you feel like nobody else loves you. Believe it or not there are people around you who do love you, who do want you in their life…they just need to speak up and tell you.

 

To the Bullies….Be a friend. Stop being an enemy. You reap what you sow.

 

To Others…If you know of someone who is being Socially Bullied, step outside of your comfort zone, stop caring what others around you might think and go talk to the person. Be their friend. Say, “Hi” or “We’re having an event, like to come?” Compliment them on their wardrobe or if they are creative say, “I really loved the short story you wrote and read in class today”…Something, anything nice.

 

Try to imagine for just for a moment how you would feel if you were being outcast? Doesn’t feel so good does it? Now you know how they feel.

 

Words can either be a life line or a death sentence to someone. So please choose them wisely.

 

Never Let A Bully Win. Fight Back. Live.

 

Hugs,

 

Bullycide: To Whom It Concerns

www.bullycidethebook.com